Ain't No Mountain High Enough

On Thursday evening I was lucky enough to attend an evening in Berkeley Square in aid of the trip about to be undertaken by 8 severely injured servicemen. Walking with the Wounded's everest challenge is to be completed before the Queens Jubilee. These unbelievably brave guys, already faced with every day struggles having lost a limb or worse in battle are due to complete a quest that most able bodied people wouldn't have the stamina to succeed!
Their all-round strength, tenacity, humour and courage is something to be remembered and fills me with so much admiration for them. Hearing them speak of where they are today and how they got there only re-inforced the notion that life is what you make of it. Francis Atkinson, Jaco Van Gass and the rest of the brilliant team - we'll be thinking of you all the way!

Sponsor them at  http://walkingwiththewounded.org.uk/everest2012/donate

Running away with the circus...ALWAYS been a fantasy of mine! Every summer in Normandy we would stop in at the circus. One of my youngest memories is of being chosen from the audience to ride an elephant. Excitement mixed with sheer terror, that addictive feeling that really makes you feel alive- this was it. I don't think I had ever felt that before then. These days I am more into rescuing caged and badly treated circus animals (or any animal in fact, except perhaps pigeons, can't cope with pigeons unlike my friend who took a dying pigeon in a Louboutin box to the vets the other day in the hope of them saving it only to be met with the vet's wide eyed astonishment).

So the roundhouse is the place to be if you are after open mouthed amazement as they are hosting 5 weeks of circus fever! Acrobats, illusionists, everything circus like in the form of extraordinary performing people rather than badly treated performing animals!

http://www.roundhouse.org.uk/whats-on/series/circusfest

This is what happens when you leave two boys to do the washing up...solution to no dishwasher tablets was squirt some fairy liquid in, slam door and switch on!! Perfect...until the bubbles slowly started taking over the kitchen! They still loudly proclaim they definitely do not want a female flatmate...ok boys...watch this space for disaster updates!

And this was the response to my post...!

Dear APT,

Situation update.

After much deliberating my co-conspirator and I decided to leave it overnight in the hope that the bubbles would disappear and therefore solve the issue, so promptly went to bed. Upon  arriving at the scene before leaving for work the next day I found the bubbles still very much there having solidified into a bubbly gloop, not unlike flubber (a 1997 film classic starring Robin Williams “An absent-minded professor discovers "flubber, a rubber-like super-bouncy substance“.) We then decided to maintain the act of ignorance throughout the day and hope that on our return back from work the bubbles would be gone.

We were right.

But not through our own brilliance, the fact that they were gone is down to the arrival of “The Third Party” our housemate Ben who had arrived back from 5 days boozing and 2 hours skiing in Val d’isere. He was not happy by what he found and swore never again to leave Assailant A and Assailant B in the house by themselves again, after cursing our names he cleaned up the mess and rectified the situation.

We still maintain to this day that fairy liquid is a cost cutting measure when there are no dishwasher tablets and we definitely 150% do NOT want a girl housemate, as we have Ben, mother to us all.

If I were ever to give up my heels these would definitely make the transition less painful! I may just have to invest for when I'm old and crippled...and they come in different colours...one for each day of the week! http://www.beandd.com

AGGRESSIVE DOGS SHOULD BE MUZZLED! Little Spider got her little head trapped between a labrador's jaws yesterday. Luckily her excess skin saved her life and she managed to limp away with some pretty severe cuts and bruises but alive is the main thing! There are far too many irresponsible dog owners out there...a dog is never born aggressive, it's down to it's environment so sort it out humans! 

Fact of The Day: Baby porcupines are called porcupettes.

Typically the weather was amazing all last week until Saturday morning when the heaven's opened and the temperature dropped drastically again...but look who's come out to play again whilst we are all stuck behind our desks on a Monday morning...Mr Sunshine!

As I have been taken down with a serious bout of Monday blues I am dreaming of my next holiday and all the stunning summer kaftans that will nail the elegant goddess picture I have always aspired to, but never quite succeeded! All hail to the unflustered, beautiful women that sit sipping their Pina Colada's poolside with not a hair out of place, a dimple in sight and that deliciously dipped in wood-varnish colour!

My reality is somewhat different to that. The morning starts well- panama - check, floaty something or other- check, book and ipod- check. Give me an hour or two and the hat will be sailing on the pool's surface to every child's wild amusement, my hair is a frizzy barnet and my cheeks...well actually my entire face looks like it could pop off it is so red...as for the rest of me, well my body has a stubborn incapacity to colour evenly leaving it a patchwork of burnt and brown with some white bits intertwined randomly.

Whilst my friend Nicolas Touros is not the answer to all my problems, his original designs are certainly the answer to some of my beach issues! Check them out at www.turudesign.com - the race is on to the check out as I NEED one in every colour to feign goddess status!



Ok so I am definitely getting old as not only can I not work out how to rotate this pic, in fact I'm verging on putting my fist through my screen it's driving me so nuts...but more importantly I need someone to explain to me very carefully and slowly how this girl woke up this morning and thought to herself this would be a good look?!

The Affordable Art Fair in Battersea Park always re-inspires and leaves me brimming with ideas but then life takes over, time passes by and before I know it I've done nothing. I was kept awake thinking of all the incredible pieces I came across at last night's preview evening and how my walls definitely need spicing up. Despite works on offer between £50 and £5000 this is sadly not the year I'll be buying so its time to get messy! Anyone up for arts, crafts and general sillyness you can find me up to my neck in paint, glue and sequins all weekend in SW10!! Ooof...can't wait!

Whether on a date, girls night out or you just fancy a taste sensation trot over to Cassis on Brompton Road. I have not eaten like I ate there in, well, forever...I can honestly say its the best dinner so far as I can remember. In fact, I am salivating just at the thought of the stuffed squid (which I was originally adverse to when my host insisted upon it)! The gregarious and eager to please staff will do everything to ensure your evening is a hit and you and your guests leave feeling like royalty. Anyone looking for me in Chelsea, here's where I'll be!

http://www.cassisbistro.co.uk/

I have a magpie eye for shoes- always have, always will! I stumbled on these designer ankle breakers in a charity shop window and got them for a bargain price as one ankle strap was missing. Little did I know that getting another made is a near impossible mission. After doing the rounds of every shop I had the genius idea of hitting Guisseppe Zanottis Walton Street branch proclaiming proudly I had bought them there a couple of months ago and could they get a new strap made for me! I was met with an accusatory glance and questioned as to where they really came from because they were FAKES and no they could not provide a strap for designer rip-offs!! Needless to say I snatched my shoes back and made a sharp and very red faced exit! Now that I eventually got a strap from elsewhere I'm taking bets as to how long it takes before I'm in a leg plaster- these are not shoes to be worn after a tequila or two but as I'm off those for a while these beauties will be glued to my feet for as long as my size 4's can take it! It's like a whole new world from up here...and I love it!

The wonderland perimeters have stretched somewhat of late...and shoreditch is the new playground! I feel like I've been on holiday for a week after hanging in the wigwam on the Queen of Hoxton's roof. The temptingly strong smells of sausages sizzling on the bbq, the air smooth with wafts of hot buttered rum...if I close my eyes I could believe I was at an apres-ski high up in the nearest snow capped hills. There is no need to venture to the three floors below unless you are interested in one of the live bands or DJs playing so I beat a hasty retreat when the clock struck 11pm and the growling bouncers shepherded us all downstairs away from the closing mystical wigwam! I left with hearts in my eyes...who needs a sweaty dance floor when you have delicious fresh air, fairy lights, a wishing well and a tipi I ask you??!

Fact of the Day:

The shortest war in history was the Anglo-Zanzibar war which lasted all of 38 minutes on the 25th August 1896.

Dot Dot Dotty About Spots!

All too often my weekends are spent in a haze hiding from sunlight after tearing up the dance floor somewhere in London. Failing to make it to this exhibition over the last month, I decided dancing was not sufficient exercise for my body or mind and replaced the wild nights out for some culture, interspersed with sweating it out at Lomax gym for 6 weeks. The vodka martinis are sorely missed but Yayoi Kasuma's extraordinary dotty world gave me the equivalent buzz of 3 of them! Completely mad and madly eccentric this Japanese artist incorporates spots and rather fallic shapes in everything from sculpture to canvas to re-upholstering! They say, and I can confirm, her work has connotations of obsession which must partly stem from her decision to voluntarily live in a psychiatric institution. The fluorescent pink "sperm" painting was my favourite but the mirage mirrored room filled with changing lights and the UV sitting room covered in glowing spots will definitely feature at my next dinner party, and in my world of wonderland dreams Kasuma would be sitting at my table!

 

Fact of the Day: Butterflies

There are thousands of species of the butterfly, which constitute the subfamily Papilionoidea and belong to the order Lepidoptera along with moths and skippers. Butterflies have bodies, legs, and wings covered with dustlike scales that come off when they are handled; unlike moths, they are usually brightly coloured and are active during the day. Butterflies also have club-tipped antennae, which they use for smelling, and hold their wings vertically over the back when at rest. They use their feet for tasting and breathe through their bodies because they don't have lungs. The changing process a butterfly goes through during its life cycle is called metamorphosis. A lepidopterist is someone who studies or collects butterflies. The word butterfly derives from German and came into English through Dutch around the year 1000, but its origin is unknown.

And speaking of butterflies, here's one that spread her wings and settled down under with the love of her life and now fiancee! Congratulations to my darling Flavs & Josh- I cannot wait to be a balinese bridesmaid for your big celebration next year!

Night is an expanse of mysterious shadows and silence waiting to be filled by dreams...

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel with Judi Dench along with a whole host of other famous faces is totally brilliant. A varied group of "mature" adults find themselves together in the m iddle of India whilst on the run from their normal, run of the mill lives for different reasons. The colliding cultures and clashing relationships mixed with the eccentricities of each character form a hilarious film that makes growing old look more fun than ever...

Morocco

Far from the romantic idea I had of morocco, the reality is sad, dirty and breath-taking (not in the good sense!).

My notions of fresh mint tea spilling elegantly from the spout of a beautiful silver teapot you could imagine a genie materialising from at sunset were wide off the mark, but a genie is definitely on the non-negotiable wishlist to survive my sejour in this musty, filthy, busy city. In case I wasn't sure, my gag reflexes are in very good working order and being put to the test at every corner turned from the smell of things I cannot even fathom.

Every moroccan is out for their own, taking you to the cleaners with every word tumbling from their brown rotting teeth with a mean twinkle in their eye. The prices demanded in the souks is a good indication they must be rich as creases as the negotiating I was so looking forward to wasn't going anywhere and left me exiting the souks empty handed.

As I stood from a far, the threatening stance of the street performer was the only thing stopping me from trying to set his poor monkey free. Tugging on his chain choking him with a desperately pleading look in his eye to be rescued I turned swiftly away before putting my own life at risk! Coward!

The traffic is insane, crossing the road involves closing your eyes and hoping for the best with a very prominent risk of your toes being run over by mad scooters carrying families of four or five! Horses made of skin and bones tiredly carting their fat masters from A to B wiggle in and out amongst the chaos whilst camel rides are sold for an extortionate sum to unsuspecting tourists. Harry and my open mouthed shock at the sight of a dead camel lying behind the live ones was something to be captured on film, it is quite unreal to have such a disregard for living things! I'm all for you making a living as best you can, but look after your product you selfish bastards. Feed your animals before yourselves is the golden rule everywhere else in the world...but here it is sadly another clear indication of the Moroccan mentality of only looking out for number 1!

Four days in the sun is not to be taken for granted though so with my book as my companion and ignorance as my aide I have no wish to leave the walled enclosure of my hotel again before my flight on monday morning! Peace and quiet, safe from the bustling madness outside...bring on my next destination!